I think I can say about myself that I’m a pretty positive live-and-let-live guy. So don’t expect too many rants like this from me. But it’s also no secret, that I hate certain things in the scene and wish they wouldn’t be as widely accepted as they are. So let’s use this blog to actually blog and talk about some of these things, in no particular order

Fear of commercial success

One of the weirdest things in the scene is the odd fetishization of “being underground” and “not being commercial”. Of course that is actually something that happens in every music genre. From Rock to Hip Hop, no fanbase likes it when their favourite artist “sells out”. But even here the definition of “selling out” isn’t what it seems to be at first. If for example Aphex Twin would suddenly sign to a major label and make a dancepop song featuring Ariana Grande, that would definitely smell like selling out. But if he would do his usual thing and his new track would suddenly be in the Beatport top 10? Sheesh, that would already be enough for way too many people to give him the sellout label and burn all his records! Because oh no, more people than usual actually enjoyed something that he did!

But let’s not talk about what the fans say. It really becomes frustrating when the artists say these things. Every once in a while a DJ/Producer will break out big time and release a track that will be one of the big anthems of the year. Maybe it will even be so big that it enters the commercial charts and not just Beatport! People hear it all summer on Ibiza, Pete Tong plays it for weeks on the radio and BAM! It’s a huge hit. And the producers hate that!

Now I don’t wanna name names. Some of these people are true legends, bigger than I will ever be, so I don’t feel like I’m in the position to openly diss them. Even if it’s extremely infuriating when they tweet about how pissed off they are about their current track being such a huge hit, that they probably have to play it in every set in the next 10 years, are really angry that the EDM remix is more successful than their House original or they ask everybody to destroy their copy of their one mega hit track.

I kinda get it. Nobody wants to be reduced to one thing they did and there is a bit of a danger of being labelled a one-hit wonder, even though you had many more hits, that nobody of “the mainstream” has ever heard of. But I hate it when they think it ruins their credibility. And when this happens, it also ruins their music. During the big EDM (I still hate that name) hype, so many of my favourite DJs and producers became boring, because they tried to be as un-EDM as possible. That sucked all of the fun out of their tracks. One guy for example, who produced banger after banger for years, whose name was a guarantee for great House music, full of fresh ideas and cool samples, became so boring that it hurt. So many of his tracks just sounded like drum tools. Just 6 or 7 minutes of a drum loop, with an occasional vocal sample (Rarely more than one word, because everything else would turn it into Guetta-esque pop, I guess?) and a bass drone once in a while. Another guy, who has been in the biz since the late 80s and kept making tons of tracks that still hold up, suddenly pretty much did the same. It almost made me cry. And these two weren’t alone. It was a whole bunch of formerly reliable DJs/Producers, who kept ranting on social media about superstar DJs, Spinnin’ records, EDM, whatever and kept producing and playing mediocre, boring, interchangable shitmusic, that made the click-click-bleep-bloop Minimal Techno of the mid 00s sound like the Chemical Brothers in comparison.

And what for? For some imaginary artistic credibility? Fuck that! Look at Armand van Helden! Armand doesn’t give a shit. He is one of the House music OGs, had some top 40 hits, headlined EDM festivals and by the end of the day, never produced anything boring. Or Mr Oizo and how he still flaunts Flat Eric, despite making extremely uncommercial music (and movies) for over 20 years. The point is (I guess) there is simply no reason to be scared of commercial success! Everybody wants to have that. Or else they would give out their music for free! Just keep doing your thing. That whole “Oh, look at me, I’m so underground” is kiddy bullshit.

Anti-phone policies

I kept rambling a bit, but this one is gonna be short. Dancefloors aren’t movie theatres! There is a good reason to ban phones in movies theatres. The screens are bright and “Be quiet and enjoy the movie” is the oldest rule in the book of movie watching etiquette, because some asshole talking loudly (into a phone or not) disturbs the movie for everybody.

Now what is so bad about someone getting their phone out and taking pictures or filming the DJ? I know, I know, iT rUiNs ThE vIbE!  But honestly, if a bunch of kids holding up their phones on the dancefloor RuInS tHe ViBe, maybe the vibe wasn’t that good to begin with. There is a DJ playing dance music through an A+ sound system, so loud that, unlike in movie theatres, you have to yell to actually make someone hear what you have to say. Dozens, maybe hundreds or thousands of people around you are dancing, some good, some awkward, some are maybe too stoned to understand what’s going on (I get to this in a moment), but a few people making videos and pictures, so that they can show friends and followers what a good time they have, is ruining it for you?

Motherfucker, you are just a grumpy bitch, looking for a reason to complain! Maybe even more so, if you are the DJ! There are and always will be more people dancing than filming you on the dancefloor! And those who are filming, do this, because they love what you do! So shut the fuck up, because I think there are much, much worse things going on on the dancefloor, that everybody seems to be oddly okay with. Which brings us to…

Drug culture

I would never dare to say that I live a healthy lifestyle. I eat too much junk food, I don’t do as much sport as I would like to (Which, in all fairness, is only partly my fault, because life gets in the way all the time.), I’m constantly exposed to 2nd hand cigarette smoke (Which is not my fault at all.), life sucks. But I am a teetotaler. I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t smoke myself, I try to limit my use of medication to “only when necessary” and drugs? Never. Not even weed.  Why? In terms of alcohol, I don’t like the taste and the effect. I tried different kinds of alcoholic beverages, but from normal stuff like beer or champagne, to party crap like wine coolers, fruit cocktails and whatever you call that chocolate pudding shit in a bottle, But there has always been that disgusting taste of alcohol, that ruined it for me. And have you ever been around drunk people while you were sober? Even just being tipsy makes them unbearable. When you are lucky, they are just annoying. But most of the times they turn into dumbasses, that I really try to avoid. I don’t wanna be like them.

Same with weed. I mean, the taste isn’t as bad as with alcohol, it smells kinda nice, but sheesh, does it suck being around stoners. At the very least they suck the fun out of every room, just by becoming too…let’s be diplomatic and call it “chill”. But to be honest, I’ve seen too many of my friends become psychologically dependent of it, to the point where I refuse to buy the “It’s totally harmless” argument. And damn, for a group that has the reputation of being mellow and fun, they can get really agressive when you decline a bong hit.

And honestly, I think it’s really hypocritical to pretend like smartphones are the worst that ever happened on our dancefloors, when they are, if any, just a mild disturbance, compared the drugs and/or alcohol fueled assholes, that you meet at every. Damn. Party. Say what you want about the guy with the smartphone, but at least he isn’t dancing so hard, that he keeps punching and kicking everybody around him. He isn’t puking on the dancefloor. He isn’t starting a fight with the guy who told him to stop punch- and kickdancing everybody. He isn’t grabbing your or your girlfriend’s ass!

Phones are not the problem. Drugs are. And yes, I count alcohol, a drug that is way too fetishised in our society, too. I never had a party ruined by someone who tried to film the DJ, not even when I was the DJ. But the totally shitfaced people who show up at every party? Hell yeah, I wish I could ban these assholes from the dancefloor!

And I know, I know, technically drugs (that aren’t alcohol) aren’t legal. No serious club openly says: “Hey, come in and bring as much  Molly as you want!” Maybe illegal underground parties do. But all in all, it’s not like drugs are seen as something, that only dumbasses and outsiders do. Drugs are sadly considerd something that is part of the rave scene. That goes so far, that even publications like DJ Mag or Faze publish articles about how to take drugs safe, instead of condemning them and telling me to NOT take them. It’s horrifying to read articles that say “Oh no, don’t take the yellow pills with Fred Flintstone, they are dangerous, but the blue pills with Hello Kitty are less dangerous, because they won’t kill you instantly!” There is no such thing as responsible drug use! It’s an oxymoron!

And speaking as a DJ, I also think it’s fucking disrespectful of you, to take substances that make you forget everything. If you don’t like my music, don’t come to my set. Don’t take pills or drinks that numb your senses. I’m in the booth, doing my best to give you a great time and you can’t even remember any of the tracks that I dropped, because the mInD-eXpAnDinG shit that you took, narrowed your mind to nothing.

Fuck you and all your drugged out friends.  I wish drugs wouldn’t be as embedded into the scene as they were.

Oh well…

Have a great day!

PF

(Pictures via Gratisography)